Dear Me

Today I checked my email and saw it. There it was, the job I wished so hard was available my senior year of college is now open. I stared at it. If I had received this email 2 years ago, I would have put my all into trying to get that job, and now I simply smiled at it and forwarded it on to my mother, just to tease her a little bit about a Nebraska job I was qualified for.

2 years ago, pre-Teach For America

Two years ago I was an eager young college grad who, after a study of Abraham, decided to move halfway across the country to teach children she had never met in a state she had never seen. I was still 2 weeks away from the move, packing up my apartment and convincing my friends that I wasn't going to forget them. If I could talk to that loud, eager, overbearing gal, here's what I'd say.

Dear Me,
First, forget everything you thought you knew about teaching. It's way harder than all your teachers ever made it look. Remember all those times you complained about being bored, those times are over in a big way. From now on, you won't have the time or energy to juggle all those tv shows you now call your favorites. PICK ONE.

So yes, teaching is hard, and you aren't good at it...really you're not. You're too emotional, argumentative, and people-pleasing. You can't win an argument with a middle schooler, and trust me, you try enough times. You're abstract passion for discussion of literature, won't fit with 12-year-olds' needs like structure and consistency.  You're a bad listener and are quick to jump to conclusions. Sorry to be a Debbie-downer, but it's the truth. You do however have some things going for you. You are passionate about working with people. You have the grit to be knocked down (literally and figuratively) and get right back up EVERY TIME. Most importantly though you have the drive to push yourself to get better. Yes, the getting better takes an entire year, but it is definitely worth it.

Teaching is also fun. Sure you adopt so much of your mother's no nonsense with your own students (and her passion to run things on a timer), but you also have her sense of humor. That sass and sarcasm wins over even the grouchiest kid, and no feeling beats sharing a laugh with your class. You learn to listen and gain patience with those youngsters who are trying to figure out who they will be. You get to be a part of that, which is a privilege and an honor.

Congratulations, you are a super extrovert, which means that year of living alone is hard. You have some maturing to do, and God uses all that alone time to teach you a thing or two. Don't worry, you're not always alone. Those crazy folks that teach along side you and share this experience are the kinds of friends who just plain get it. Most excitingly, you lose your heart along the way. This southern guy is the best at arguments, a good cook, and makes you laugh.

Pack your bags Nebraska girl. You're trading cows for kids, boots for sensible teacher shoes, and Runza for Bojangles. South Carolina is going to change you, and that's going to be good for you.

'till the cows come home,
Ellie