As a freshman in college I had a particularly heated debate. On a mission trip I was telling stories about all my male friends and another guy stated, "you know, no guy is ever really 'just friends' with a girl. They either want to date you or use you." I went on to explain that I had a plethora of male friends who were not at all interested in a romantic or physical relationship with me. In the back of my mind, though, I worried that he was right.
After returning home, I had an awkward phone call with one of my closest male friends. I shared with him that I was interested in a friendship, nothing more. His equally awkward response put aside my fears and with a laugh we moved on to cover more important issues like the Cornhuskers. Today this friend and his awesome girlfriend are very near and dear to me.
Guy friendships have always felt like home to me. I grew up with brothers who didn't treat me like a tender flower, but a peer. I was teased, harassed, and challenged every day. Jake and Jud truly made me a stronger person and helped me learn to laugh at myself. It is my relationship with them that makes it so easy for me to be friends with guys.
My secret to healthy guy/girl friendships is this: know the relationship. As girls we can get caught up in fantasies thinking, "he is so nice, I bet we would make a great couple." The worst part is that fellow girls will fan this flame. Not every guy who is nice to a girl wants to date her. If you are uncertain about the relationship, ASK. As awkward as it may be, it's important to DTR (define the relationship). If the relationship is headed for something more, he'll let you know. If it's not have a laugh and cherish that friendship.
Whether you are a guy or a girl, the friendzone is not a trap. It's a place to laugh, learn, and grow. Don't force your relationships to become something they're not. Be thankful for the people in your life no matter what their role is.
'till the cows come home,
Ellie
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