I have 10 Facebook commandments that keep me from becoming a stereotype on the increasingly popular social network. It's important not only to keep my friends from hating me, but also to keep my grandmother, and potential employers from being dismayed by what they see on my profile. So here are the contents of my stone tablets.
1. Thou shalt not post more than one status a day (unless it's a need to know event): No one needs to know every thought that's "on your mind" throughout a day. Keep it to one, unless something happens that you need to let mass numbers of people know about. Videos, photos and links are free game.
2. Thou shall tag as you wish to be tagged: When uploading photos only tag photos in which you would be happy to be the subject of said tag. If you still want to tag something embarrassing, adjust the security settings and keep the photo between your close group of friends.
3. Thou shalt not make out with your boyfriend in your profile picture: I haven't had to deal with this one yet, but I have solemnly sworn to never commit it. Yes, I'm sure people are happy that you are in a relationship, but a smiling with arms-around-each-other picture communicates the same message as making out.
4. Honor the groups by keeping them focused: Facebook groups are my favorite. I've got one for spring break, campus clubs I'm in, school projects, and even just one of funny people. Groups always have a purpose. No matter what that purpose is, honor it. Don't get distracted by posting random items (or self promotion) to the group.
5. Thou shalt not swear on my wall: I like to keep my page classy. While I'm not ultra conservative about what I post (after all, I am a college student), I still have a reputation to uphold. I also don't keep my security settings on lock down. I'd like to get a job someday that involves social media, and want to be proud to show off my savvy.
6. Thou shalt not make me gag with your romantic posts: I get it; you love each other. What I don't get is your need to say goodnight, or I love you EVERY DAY. Please do the single ladies (and guys) a favor and send that message via text. Posting once a week or adding something cleverly sweet is completely permissible.
7. Thou shalt not be vague: A passive aggressive status is only allowed if it's funny or specific. An "I hate the world." or "My friends suck." status only makes me think that you are mad at me and adds more stress to my life. If you have a problem there are plenty of people that are just a phone call away. Do your friends a favor, and take advantage of your phone contacts.
8. Thou shalt not friend someone you haven't met in person: I have met each and every one of my Facebook friends at least once. They all aren't my best friends, but they at least seen my living breathing body. I have improved many of these relationships through Facebook, but I would like to meet you before I "friend" you.
9. Thou shalt share funny stories: The reason we are Facebook friends is that I like you. I want to hear about your life, especially the funny things that happen in it. Don't be embarrassed to share the times in your day that would make me laugh.
10. Thou shalt offer common courtesy via the web: Be respectful. Facebook isn't any different from the elementary school playground. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Feel free to cleverly mock, but real hostility will not be tolerated.
So there you have it, the commandments I try to live by. Like the real ones, I sometimes break them, but do my best to uphold the law.
'till the cows come home,
Ellie
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